


Third Time's the Charm!!

by theBitchTornado



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Crack, Crazy shenanigans, F/M, Humor, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-02-14 21:19:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13016355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theBitchTornado/pseuds/theBitchTornado
Summary: Mattaki just got dumped....again. After Izayoi reunites with Takemaru (a man who originally was sent to kill her), she quickly dumps her demon husband and abandons her hanyou son to be with the former bodyguard. It just leaves Mattaki one problem: he has two sons to raise, and he's single...AGAIN. What's a taiyoukai to do?! Enter 18 years later and Inuyasha's girlfriend's twin sister: an 18 year old smoking hot priestess named Kagome. Is she the one? Can he win her over to be his one and only? Is it true what they say: is third time's the charm?!!





	1. Prolouge

               It was officially the Taiyoukai’s worst day of his life.  He knew Izayoi was unhappy, but since she wasn’t his mate, he couldn’t feel her discontent and her resentment. What did he do to deserve her leaving him with the only permanent thing that happened in his marriage: Inuyasha?

               “Izayoi, please!” he begged his wife as she was packing up her many suitcases. Every piece of jewelry, and clothing he ever bought her in their ten year marriage was strewn across their master suite, the windows showing a gorgeous sunset.

               “You don’t understand Mattaki!” she cried. “I finally saw him again! I love him!”

               “He almost killed you!” Mattaki roared. “Takemaru was literally sent by your family to kill you!”

               “But that’s because I married you!” she said, crying and flung a ceremonial kimono in her largest suitcase. The dejected cloth crumpled in the depths of the suitcase. Mattaki understood that kimono better than he ever thought he would.

               “But you wanted to marry me, just as much I wanted to marry you!” He yelled at her near the doorway. Unbeknownst to them both, a thirteen year old Sesshomaru and a five year old Inuyasha were just outside the door, listening in to the conversation. Inuyasha was bawling his wide amber eyes out while Sesshomaru tried to stop his little brother from rushing into the room. Sesshomaru’s eyes blazed at his step-mother. He never liked her, even when she first showed up as his father’s girlfriend.

               “I know, Mattaki. I know I wanted to marry you, but then Inuyasha came along and you were working and all the troubles with Sesshomaru….and then Takemaru shows up! I feel so alive again!”

               “And, us, _I-”_ Mattaki’s voice cracked. He tried again. “I don’t make you feel alive?! After all this time, after the nannies, the vacations, the expensive clothing-” he waved his hands at her ten suitcases full of expensive clothing, jewelry, and makeup, “After all of this, and more, you don’t feel alive? Kami-sama, you never said anything to me! I could have _done something, anything,_ and yet you are now leaving me alone for a man who tried to _fucking kill you,_ who made you choose between his filthy ass and your own son, who has done nothing wrong? How could you?!”

               “You don’t understand! You never could! You’re a demon, you can’t feel love like a human can, like he can!”

               “How dare you! I chose you over everybody! I brought you in this house and almost ruined my relationship with Sesshomaru so that way we could be together!” He wanted to hit something. He wanted to run and hide, but he could sense his pups standing outside and listening in to this…this situation. And it was because of them that he squared his shoulders and left the room. Now he knew why she never wished to be his mate. Now he knew that she was simply biding her time before correcting her “mistake” wouldn’t lead to questions about pride.

               He grit his teeth. His pups. His pups didn’t deserve this. Not Inuyasha, not Sesshomaru. He would be strong, for them.

               He saw them both, both with wide broken hearted eyes staring back at him. Tears were trickling down his hanyou’s face, his white puppy ears flat.

               “Papa?” the hanyou whispered. “Is mommy leaving?”

               He couldn’t lie. Not when his son was looking at him like that. He _couldn’t._ He couldn’t say those cursed words aloud, so he nodded and reached to pick up the toddler. He took him and nuzzled the top of his white head, taking a deep breath.

               “But I’m not going anywhere, Inuyasha. I promise.”

               He looked over at Sesshomaru, whose eyes blazed with hatred at the woman who was packing in the room. “I’ll get her out, Father.” Mattaki, nuzzling and soothing his second borne, simply nodded at his heir. His boys, his light and apples of his eyes, would be his strength and he would be theirs. No evil woman would ever come between them.

               An hour later, he was alone in his big bed for the first time in ten years. Izayoi’s scent was everywhere, cloying and disgusting. He couldn’t stand being in there, so he sighed and left, instead going to Inuyasha’s bedroom to comfort the whimpering hanyou.

               His boys.  His boys were everything. As long as he had them to protect, as long as he had something and someone to protect, it would be fine. Looks like finding a true mate to love would take a backseat.

               He mourned the loss of ten years, even as he pet and growled at his toddler. Inuyasha finally fell asleep with his thumb in his mouth.

               How could he be so blind? But he couldn’t regret meeting the gold digging witch. She gave him something to protect, he thought as he laid down next to the small bed.

               It just simply meant that his true mate was still out there, and the best relationship of his life was yet to come.


	2. Chapter One: Eighteen Years Later

               Kagome couldn’t concentrate…. her stupid sister and her _stupid fucking boyfriend!_

               “Hey! Can you guys have sex somewhere else?!” she yelled. The moaning stopped for a second and started up again.

               Kagome’s eye twitched. This was her second paper that was due the next day…and Kikyo had one too! She growled and thumped on her wall, again.

               “Hey Kinky-hoe! We have a paper due tomorrow!” No response. More moaning, growling, and were those _sucking_ noises?! Seriously?! She groaned and slapped her face. She just remembered: it was her turn to do the laundry… also…. tomorrow.

               **_FUCK._**

**_IT_ **

**_ALL_ **

**_TO_ **

**_HELL_ **

“KIKYO!”

               In the next room, Kikyo couldn’t ignore her younger twin. She moaned and threw her head back as Inuyasha did a particularly hard and delicious thrust.

               “Oh...nooo,” she moaned out. Inuyasha stopped banging and tilted his head to the side.

               “You okay babe?” No response. Did he do something wrong?!

               “Kikyo?”

               Said young woman almost threw him off the bed (which is impressive, considering he was deep inside her and completely frozen). She groaned.

               “Go…away, Kagome,” she moaned out. Inuyasha widened his eyes and turned his head around…and saw….

               _Kagome._

Said blue eyed miko had her eyes twitching and her hands on her hips.

               “Not until you finish your paper, Kikyo.”

               “I already did, so let _me_ finish!”

               Kagome smirked and said, “I would love to, but Dad’s almost home.”

               _Shit!_ Higurashi Miroku was a fucking pyscho!

               Within twenty seconds, Inuyasha was dressed and out the window, with nary a “See ya later, Kikyo!”

               Kikyo blearily stared at her smirking little sister and then threw her bra.

               “Gods, Kagome, you need to get laid!”

               Kagome smiled her dangerous smile and sweetly replied, “Why would I want a humping dog when all I need is a rabbit?” She laughed and left the room as Kikyo made a face and groaned, “Didn’t need to know that!”

               “And I didn’t need to see Inuyasha’s naked ass!”

               Touché.

               Kikyo rolled over and with a clap, turned off the lights. Kagome was gonna get _it,_ and _soon._

***

               Thirty minutes later, Inuyasha arrived at his house, and the first person to ambush him was his sister-in-law, Rin.

               “Where have you been?” she cried. Hearing his wife and mate exclaim, Sesshomaru walked into the hallway, sniffing.

               “The better question is: who have you been in?” he asked, smirking at Inuyasha’s blush.

               “Shut up.”

               Sesshomaru adopted a false serious demeanor. “Ah, my little brother finally becomes a man.”

               “Shut it.”

               “So which Higurashi girl was it? Or don’t tell me- was it both?” Sesshomaru chuckled as Rin and Inuyasha looked at him in distaste.

               “Sesshomaru, sweetie,” Rin began cooing at her mate in a high-pitched voice, “You better not put those thoughts in our child’s head or I will cut you down with your ceremonial sword!”

               Sesshomaru grimaced. “Sweetheart-”

               “Don’t ‘sweetheart’ me, Sesshomaru! Our child hasn’t even been born yet and you’re already making me doubt that your lechery isn’t going to be passed on!”

               Inuyasha looked at them back and forth. What child?

               “Our child was just discovered! Today, and you’re already freaking out about my so-called lechery?! Need I remind you just how you got pregnant in the first place?!”

               “Children can hear in the womb, Sesshomaru! Or were you not paying attention to the lecture? Oh wait: you weren’t, you were staring at the nurse’s tits!”

               “That’s not fair-there were informational brochures behind her!”

               “Oh, that’s a likely-”

               “GUYS, can you shut the fuck up for like one second?! What baby are you talking about?”

               Sesshomaru and Rin both looked over at him and clammed up. Rin grinned suddenly and smushed Inuyasha in a hug.

               “You’re about to become an uncle.”

               Stunned, Inuyasha looked over at his proud brother. “Is it true?” he asked. With a triumphant gleam in his eye, Sesshomaru regally nodded, then broke out in a grin.

               “We found out today.”

               “Congratulations, I’m-”

               “Jealous?” Sesshomaru asked, smirking. “It’s okay little brother, with that scent coming off you, you’ll impregnate Kikyo in no time!”

               “SESSHOMARU!” Rin snapped and hit her husband.

               He simply shrugged and left the room, hearing that Mattaki was home.

***

               Meanwhile, Higurashi Miroku came home to an eerily quiet house. His days as a go-between with the American ambassador were getting too much.

               ‘I should probably start thinking about taking over the shrine,’ he thought. At least that way Mushin would finally retire and travel to the main land like he always wanted. He sighed, and climbed the steps. He paused at Kagome’s room, and saw that the light was still on, and hearing her work on the computer, he experienced pride at having such a diligent daughter.

               Then, he paused at Kikyo’s door, which was slightly ajar. The light was off, and he decided, that he wanted to kiss his eldest daughter’s brow.

               Sneaking into the room like a thief, he put down his suitcase and promptly tripped over Kikyo’s bra.

               ‘Goddamnit. She really needs to start taking safe care of her clothing,’ he thought. But something wasn’t right.

               When he reached over to pick up her bra, why did he also pick up red boxer shorts? The better question, however, was that: why the hell were they wet?!

               He stole them and brought them into Kagome’s room, to take a better look at them. Why would his innocent daughter have boxer shorts?!

               Kagome looked up at him.

               “Dad?”

               “Hmm?”

               “Why do you have Inuyasha’s boxers with you?”

               Miroku shocked, looked over at his innocent daughter.

               “What the hell do you mean, Inuyasha’s boxer shorts?”

               Kagome snorted.

               “Inuyasha was here earlier. Guess the dumb ass forgot to put his pants back on,” she mused, shrugged and went back to work on her paper.

               Miroku wasn’t letting this go.

               “Who’s Inuyasha and why was he here earlier?” he asked sternly. Not even looking up from her paper, Kagome shrugged.

               “Inuyasha is Kikyo’s boyfriend.”

               Boyfriend?! His innocent little girl had a boyfriend?! Kagome wasn’t finished.

               “They were having sex earlier.”

               His innocent Kikyo wasn’t a virgin?! What was this world coming to?! He tried to get his shock under control. He asked again, thankful at least Kagome was still his little girl.

               **_WASN’T SHE?!_**

               “Who’s Inuyasha, and why were they having sex?!”

               Damnit, that came a little louder than he intended. Mushin, who was previously sleeping, came in the room with a sleepy Souta behind him.

               “Miroku! You’re finally home!” he crowed with delight, over powering Souta’s, “Daddy!”            

               “Hello, Father,” he said, bowing to the old man and catching Souta. Mushin looked over at the boxers in Miroku’s hand and snorted.

               “Huh, so he finally left. Good riddance, they were getting to be too loud!”  Miroku, already feeling the beginnings of a heart attack, widened his eyes even further.

               “You knew about this? And you didn’t tell me?”

               “Ha, I’m just glad that someone in this household has a pulse! You used to, remember?”

               “That’s not the point, Sango and I-”

               “But you don’t and I’m glad that at least one of your children hasn’t been permanently scarred!” He looked at the boxers and nodded. “Good for Kikyo- he sounded like a healthy young man!”

               “Who is he?”

               “You mean, you don’t remember? Mattaki’s kid, the hanyou!”

               “That doesn’t make it better, and you know it!”

               Mushin shook his head at his son’s ignorance.

               “They’ve been dating for over a year now.”

               “Sango didn’t tell me anything!”

               Mushin snorted. “With the way you too have been lately, I’m not surprised.” He took Souta from his gob smacked son, and looked over his shoulder at his irritated granddaughter.

               “Humph. You need sleep, and so do you Kagome!”

                “I’m still not finished!”

               “How are you not finished with that thing? You’ve been working all night on it. It’s one in the morning, and you have school tomorrow. Sleep now.”

               Kagome shook her head. “I can sleep when I’m dead.” With that, she placed her headphones back on and continued her (forty-five pages and counting) paper. Mushin shook his head again and transported sleeping Souta from the room. Miroku looked back at his uptight but brilliant daughter, and kissed her head.

               At least he still had a little girl.

               A little girl that would be graduating on top of her class and going to a world-class university on full scholarship, but still his little girl.

               And no man, dead or alive, would ever get her.

               **Ever.**

               He closed the door behind him and vowed to avenge Kikyo’s innocence. He squeezed the disgusting boxers in his hand, pretending that those were that damn hanyou’s teeny tiny balls.

               That would teach the damn dogs a lesson not to mess with the Higurashis.

               Forgetting how nonsensical it sounded, he nodded his head and went to bed.

***

               “Thatta boy, Sesshomaru! I knew you could do it!” Mattaki thumped his eldest on the back, ignoring everyone’s blushes.

               “And little Rin!” he crowed, his eyes wild. “You a blooming flower! I’m so proud of you!” He gave her a bone crushing hug.

               “Father, you smell drunk.”

               “I have to be, my boy! Why did you think that _Kagura_ would be a good idea?”

               Sesshomaru shrugged. “She likes men, like you and-”

               “You mean, she likes men that have money, like me.”

               “You said you wanted a pretty mate.”

               “ _Soulmate_ , not a cold hearted kaze youkai!”

               Sesshomaru shrugged. “Beggars can’t be choosers. I saw your Tinder profile.”

               Mattaki colored up. “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

               “Rin has a friend who saw it and sent it to me.”

               “Well then, fuck her!”

               “You did three years ago, remember?”

               Mattaki cocked his head to the side. “Was it that American kitsune? Sonia, was that her name?”

               “Yes, that’s the one!” Inuyasha piped up, eager to get this conversation over with. Mattaki looked over at his son, and sniffed him. His eyes widened.

               “Well well well, Inuyasha, do you have something to share?”

               The hanyou blushed. “No.”

               “Come on, now, boy! You smell like, that girl!”

               “It’s...”

               “Oh, don’t be so modest brother! You _almost_ mated Kikyo today!”

               Mattaki looked from brother to brother, then thumped Inuyasha on the back.

               “That’s right! I have two virile sons, who-wait, did you say _almost?_ ”

               Inuyasha coughed while Sesshomaru chuckled.

               “Yes, father, _almost._ Her twin sister walked in on them before the half-breed could place the mark.”

               “Sesshomaru...” Inuyasha growled as his father howled in laughter.

               “Her twin sister, how hilarious! I wish I had my camera!” he howled further. He looked over at his younger son, whose ears were drooping.

               “Oh, it’s okay Inuyasha! It’s only the first time. Just don’t go near her twin sister, and you’ll be fine!” he chortled as his hanyou son stomped away. “Oh, come on, now, don’t be like that! Us Nishimura men are potent! You’ll get her next time!” He continued in his good humor throughout the night as he got ready for bed.

               It never once crossed his mind that Higurashi Miroku’s daughter was in for some trouble. He had met the girl, and she was good enough for his son. Not much to say about her, other than they were in love and ready to settle down.

               It never once thought that Kikyo’s twin sister was about to collide with himself.

***

               “Okay, I’m going over to Inuyasha’s house!” Kikyo told Kagome on their way home.

               “You can go to hell for all I care,” Kagome groused.

               “Aww, mad at me because you didn’t write all eighty pages of your original outline?” Kikyo teased her sister.

               “It was a brilliant proposal and you know it!” Kagome screamed. “I was just at the conclusion when I just had to fall asleep, and it’s all because of you!”

               “Me? Why me?”

               “Because you just had to have sex last night!”

               “He was going to mate me when you interrupted!”

               “Aww, how romantic!” Kagome jeered. “You could have done it anywhere else!”

               “Well, we will! Tonight. At his place.” Kikyo announced self-righteously.

               Kagome slumped forward. “Are you sure this is a good idea? We’re only eighteen and he’s what….”

               “Twenty-three.”

               “So, he likes jail-bait.”

               “I’m not jail-bait!”

               “We just turned eighteen two months ago and suddenly, without telling Mom or Dad, you’re going to bind your _soul_ to the first guy you met?”

               “You don’t understand, I love him!”

               “Humph. Try telling Dad. He will lock you up.”

               “I’ll tell Mom first, and then he will have to calm down.”

               “He wasn’t so calm last night when he found Inuyasha’s boxers next to you bed. Grandpa had to calm him down.”

               Kikyo stopped in her tracks. “Are you sure?!” Kagome glared at her older sister.

               “Yes. That’s why I didn’t even reach _sixty_ pages before passing out. So, fuck you.”

               Kikyo shrugged. “Fine, whatever. I’m going to mate Inuyasha and when we graduate, I’m going to live with him and his family.”

               “’Kay.” Kagome crossed the street, leaving Kikyo behind.

               “Don’t you walk away from me!”

***

               Mattaki grit his teeth at the amount of messages left by his secretary. Apparently, his old friend Higurashi (whom he hasn’t seen for over a decade) found out about Inuyasha and Kikyo.

               Well fine. Let the games begin. He wouldn’t ever stand in the way of true love, even though the girl was barely legal. Fucking human sensitivities. Hell, twenty years ago, he was the one helping him! Fucking hypocrite.

               He sent his old buddy an email:

               “Hey, I got your 30 different voicemails threatening my son with bodily harm. How about we talk about this? If I agree to make Inuyasha and Kikyo wait (even though Inuyasha can provide for her and she’ll never want for anything), then you have to calm your ass down. Remember how I helped you and Sango elope? Well, guess what, the reckoning has come and take this like a man!

               Sincerely, you apparently forgot about me.”

               _Ding!_

Drinking his bland coffee, Miroku checked his email. There it was, from the man who used to be his best friend. Reading it over, he sighed. At least if he was signing Kikyo over to the sharks, it was better that it was a Nishimura shark, not that goddamn Hojou Akitoki dumbass.

               His only reply was, “Tonight, seven pm, the Higurashi shrine. Or else.”

               He then texted Kikyo, “If you’re planning something stupid, you better be home before I find out what it is and drag you back.”

               He leaned back in his chair and sighed. It was good to have control again. He just hoped that Kikyo had enough sense to listen to him. He gulped down the rest of the bitter drink, cracked his knuckles and began translating for the American ambassador.

               What kind of government sent a completely unqualified candidate to be an ambassador. He shivered. The American ambassador wasn’t just stupid, but completely unable of being presentable.

               He _loved_ his job managing that pervert.

***

               Kagome was studying when the knock came at her door. She stretched and looked at the clock. It was almost seven. Her stomach growled. The knocking got louder, and she figured it couldn’t hurt to answer the door. She could also grab something to eat.

               Who was coming over again?

               Mattaki growled to himself. Fucking pervert couldn’t be bothered to even show up on time? So, stuck in his musings, he didn’t notice the most wonderful scent or the very beautiful young woman in possession of it.

               Not until he heard a delicate coughing.

               “Um, excuse me? You must be Nishimura-san,” said the beautiful voice. He looked down and locked eyes with gorgeous blue eyes.

               Kagome wasn’t faring too well either. His gorgeous amber eyes were only the beginning. Nishimura-san was very broad shouldered, with pure white hair tied up in a ponytail, a manly teal stripe each on his square cheeks and from what she could tell, an amazing body. She swallowed.

               How the hell did _this_ piece of goodness straight from the catalogue of masturbation material produce _Inuyasha?!_

               Thankfully, said poster boy was too aroused to notice anything but this delicate angel. ‘Well, at least my hands are going to be doing _something_ tonight. She blows every other woman I’ve ever met straight out of the water.’

               “Ahem,” a male voice echoed out in the courtyard. Both startled, turned to see Miroku looking hungry and tired. “Please let this man in, Kagome. You might not remember Nishimura-san, but he used to be my best friend.”

               Kagome was the first to react. “Okay, Daddy! I’ll heat up some oden,” she said as she pecked her father on the cheek.

               Handing him the food, she bowed to Mattaki. “I’m very happy to meet you, Nishimura-san. I hope your talk with my father goes well.” She hoped he wouldn’t notice her body heating up. She shivered as she heard a most delicious chuckle.

               “It’s no problem, miss…?”

               “Kagome, sir.”

               Ah so the angel had a name. It was perfect for grunting out during an orgasm.

               “Please call me Mattaki.”

               Miroku seeing this back and forth, cleared his throat and glared at the taiyoukai. The dirty old man wouldn’t have his precious daughter! His disgusting son already took Kikyo away from him, and no one would ever take Kagome!

               Ever!

               Mattaki uneasily observed his old friend. Twenty years could do a lot to a human. He just hoped that he would listen to reason.

               “So, Miroku, let’s talk about this.”

               “Yes, Mattaki, let’s.”

               There was awkward silence and both hesitated. There were twenty years in between them and both wondered how they didn’t see it coming. How hurt Miroku was about being kept from this situation this long. How Mattaki was hurt by Miroku throwing his friendship away. How shocked Mattaki was at being that attracted to Miroku’s daughter.

               They stared at each other in silence while Miroku gulped down his dinner. Mattaki noticed the under-eye circles, the tired visage. Miroku was only forty-three, and Mattaki over five hundred, yet Mattaki looked like a strapping forty-year-old. A silver ‘fox’, not yet leaving his prime. He took a deep breath.

                “So, let’s have this discussion then.”

               Miroku wiped his mouth. “Let’s do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter One published 12/28/2017 2:43am. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the first official chapter!!


	3. Chapter Two: The Discussion

               After three hours of shouting, Kagome heard them calm down. She sighed and turned on her phone. There it was: Kikyo was a dumbass.

               She mated the hanyou, even though she was told by their father to wait. This was going to be fun.

               She texted Kikyo and let her know about the discussion going on downstairs.

               _Ding!_

“Sorry, I had to do this.”

               Kagome texted her back, “Going behind Dad’s back?”

               “I had to mate him. I have to leave.”

               Kagome couldn’t call Kikyo fast enough.

               When her elder sister picked up the phone, Kagome started to shout.

               “What the fuck is wrong with you?! Father literally said that he was okay with you being with him and you just had to wait!”

               “You don’t understand!”

               “Make me understand then!”

               “I can’t be in the same house as him anymore!”

               “So, you went behind his back, and _bound your soul_ before we could figure this out? You seriously couldn’t even wait to graduate?”

               _Sigh._ “It’s my choice, Kagome, and I don’t want to wait. Nobody is going to tell me how to live my life anymore.”

               Kagome snorted. “Please. You just switched Dad with Inuyasha. Good luck with that.” She slammed her phone against the wall. People were so stupid, she couldn’t believe that Kikyo and her shared even half their DNA, let alone most of it.

               Meanwhile, Mattaki, under the guise of trying to find the bathroom, spied on Kagome from behind the door, and listened in on her conversation.

               Why he was behaving like a pup, he didn’t know, but he was craving her voice right now, and fuck it, why deny himself? ‘Mmmmm,’ he thought to himself, ‘even her voice is sexy.’

               Then he heard her sister say that she was mated and grimaced. Well, shit. The damage was done.

               Miroku was reading the news on his phone when Mattaki ran down the stairs and out the door.  Confused, the monk followed the taiyoukai to where Mattaki was frantically putting on his shoes and cocked his head.

               “Everything okay, Mattaki?” he asked his old friend. Said taiyoukai jumped, whipped his heads to look at the human and laughed hysterically, “Oh yeah! I forgot to do something _very important,_ and I have to go, now.”

               “Okay, don’t let me keep you then,” Miroku said, confused at the inu’s behavior. Something fishy was going on.

***

               “Baby, don’t go,” Kikyo moaned out to her new mate. Inuyasha smirked at her, cockily smiling at the red and sweaty image that Kikyo made and said, “I’m just gonna get some food. I don’t want to tire you out, _too much._ ”

               All he got a moan and he mentally high-fived himself. Three times in a row wasn’t too shabby, but he needed to get some food or else he wouldn’t be able to go on. He went downstairs only to find Sesshomaru with a video camera.

               “So, little brother, had your fun?” the elder inu said. Rin was sitting at the table shaking her head in disbelief.

               “Put that away, would you?” Inuyasha scowled. Sesshomaru slowly shook his head.

               “No way in hell will I do that, little brother. Have you already forgotten what you did when I first mated Rin?”

               Inuyasha blushed at the memory.

               _When the moaning finally stopped, Inuyasha crashed into his older brother’s room with the ancient video camera, screaming, “Say cheese mothafucker!”_

Sesshomaru smirked at Inuyasha’s discomfort and continued to record his brother.

               “So, Inuyasha, how many times did you manage? Once, twice?”

               “Oh god, you two are insane.”

               “IT WAS THREE TIMES YOU FUCKERS!” Inuyasha puffed out his chest in pride. “And if you kindly step aside, _Fluffy,_ I need to get some grub so I can continue on with my business.”

               Sesshomaru chuckled as he looked behind the hanyou. “I don’t think your new mate will take too kindly with continuing your, “business”, tonight.”

               Inuyasha whipped around only to see a clothed, irritated Kikyo. “Yeah, it’s so not happening Inu.”

               “Oh, it is, that is if you want the mating to break.”           

               Mattaki arrived, looking winded. Sesshomaru turned his faithful camera to his father. “Would you like to say something for the immense occasion?”

               “Yes, I would.” Mattaki stalked up to his youngest son and slapped him across the face. “YOU COULDN’T HAVE WAITED FOR EVEN A MONTH TO FUCK?!” he screamed. Even Rin winced. Sesshomaru continued to record, hoping to use this video as leverage.

               “You fucking horny rabbits couldn’t have waited for her to graduate?!” Mattaki scolded, pointing at Kikyo. “I just had a three-hour shouting match with her father, trying to talk some sense into letting you two dumbasses be together, finally agreeing on letting her graduate high school first, only to find out from her twin sister that you two already started the process!?”

               “Wait, Kagome told you?”

               Mattaki blushed. Interested, Sesshomaru pointed the camera at his father. “Well, not exactly...”

               Kikyo narrowed her eyes, “What do you mean, ‘not exactly’?”

               Mattaki blushed even more. Sesshomaru zoomed in. “I sort of.... listened in on her?” he said.

               “You did what?!”

               “Look, that’s not the point! The point is, is that I can’t let you break the process, and I can’t let your father find out!”

               “What happens if we break the process?” Inuyasha asked. “Can’t we just do it again?”

               “No, you cannot. If you break the process now, you will never be able to mate each other.”

               “Shit.”

               “Shit is right. How many times have you done it so far?”

               “Three!”

               “Inuyasha!” Said hanyou looked at his mate. “What?”

               “That’s embarrassing!”

               “The time for embarrassment is past, my dear.” Mattaki said, taking command. “Okay, that’s good. You guys only need to do it twice more, and the process will be complete!” He turned to Kikyo.

               “Okay, my dear, go upstairs and wait for Inuyasha.” Kikyo nodded and obeyed orders. Mattaki looked at his son.

               “Okay, you’re very lucky that you’re a Nishimura, my boy, this shouldn’t be hard at all!”

               Sesshomaru followed the hanyou and his father up the stairs into his father’s room, recording everything.

               Mattaki searched through his drawers until he found his favorite drink: what he liked to call in jest- liquid Viagra. He turned to the hanyou.

               “Okay my boy, drink all of this.”

               Inuyasha’s eyes widened at the literal two-liter bottle in his father’s hands. “All of that?”

               “Yes, my boy, all of it.”

               “What does it do?”

               “No time for questions! Drink all of it!” Inuyasha, frightened, nodded and chugged down the potion in one go. Coughing, he let himself get thumped by his father.

               “Okay? You feeling okay?” he asked his son. Inuyasha nodded and Mattaki and Sesshomaru escorted him to his room.

               “Okay, make me proud boy!” he roared. Inuyasha and Sesshomaru roared in answer, “NISHIMURA!” The camera was still on, recording the proceedings.

               “NISHIMURA!” Mattaki roared back, clapped him on the back, shoved him into the room, and locked him in. Mattaki clapped his hands, proud of his handiwork.

               The potion seemed to work, as the next two hours were filled with moans and sounds of slapping flesh.

               The camera finally turned off, Sesshomaru shared a glass of sake with his father, listening in to make sure that the sounds were continuing.

               “So, father?” he asked.

               “Yes, son?”

               “What was in the drink?”

               “Oh that? I spiked my favorite punch with Viagra,” Mattaki said casually, pouring himself another bowl.

               “But why?” Sesshomaru asked, “you don’t seem to have trouble there.”

               “I don’t, but I like the taste.”

               Sesshomaru still looked confused.

               “It’s like this, my boy,” Mattaki said, “it makes things more fun.”

               Sesshomaru cocked his head to the side. “In what way?”

               “It’s better than an acid trip.” Mattaki nodded wisely.

               “So, you take Viagra to get high?”

               “Sometimes.”

               “But why?”

               “Ah, my boy, you’ll figure it out when you get to be my age,” Mattaki said sagely, his eyes twinkling mysteriously.  Sesshomaru continued to listen to his little brother and thought. He turned to his father.

               “Can I have some?”

 

 

              

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter published on 2/3/2018
> 
> Sorry it's so short, but stay tuned and the chapters will get longer!

**Author's Note:**

> Believe it or not, this is going to be a comedy. So strap in and enjoy the crazy ride!!  
> Side note: for those of you who have read "Where We Belong", I'm hoping that this story won't drag out the story (Where We Belong) too much; I'll try to alternate between the two of them as much as possible. Where We Belong shouldn't take too much more time to write (Maybe five or six more chapters) so when that happens I'll try to update this story as much as I can. 
> 
> Anyway, kudos, comments, subscribe, and bookmark(?) if you'd like! I'm looking forward to seeing you guys!


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